Friday, May 10, 2013

friday forte: on hold

spt 9May13
yes, the fab wedges are thrifted too :)
Yesterday's outfit - a triumph of thrift, yet I'm feeling the opposite of joyous. To be completely honest, I'm really miserable. My lack of success with job applications is getting me down. There's nothing I can do about it except keep on revamping my résumé and crafting those witty attention-grabbing cover letters.

For those of you in employment or not currently on the seeking-paid-work treadmill, it's an exhausting and thankless task. After at least an hour's research and preparation, application packs get sent off into the digital void; weeks later, you've heard absolutely nothing. There's no acknowledgement these days, no thanks for applying - we'll be in touch in xyz weeks. Nothing. Nada.

Sometimes I follow up, asking for feedback or offering to supply more material - deafening digital silence. There are way more job seekers than there are positions to fill, even in the midst of this skills shortage.

I never thought it would happen to me, but it has. I worked hard at school, graduated from university, worked through a PhD and held down a postdoc. I've even gone back to school for two different post-secondary accreditations. And don't get me started on the amount of volunteer work I've done, building up new skills and keeping old ones current. I'm a seething mass of new skill acquisition - which skill should I learn/update next? Adobe Muse? Pay-per-click advertising? SEO? Tantric sex?

I thought I was doing all the right things while I stayed home with baby, as a new immigrant, as the trailing spouse .. it doesn't seem so.

As I head closer to 50, it gets easier to imagine reaching retirement without having anything to actually retire from. I'm sure this raises a laugh for some.

Apparently 'many women' would love to be in my shoes, staying at home with the kid, being a kept woman, and yes, I count my blessings - I do indeed have the kid and the husband package. But all is not right in my world. These 'many women' don't see the intense frustration of staying home with nothing better than scrubbing toilets, nagging and chasing dust bunnies. Personally I need more. Housework does not equal fulfillment; a clean toilet is not job satisfaction; being home for a kid after school is wonderful but staying home alone all day while kid is at school is a waste ... and please don't suggest any more volunteering. Canada has had all the free work I'm willing to give - no new projects; pay me.

It is, of course, up to me to keep going. Write - edit - research - apply. There is no magic wand to wave. All mr ebb can do is hold me close and stroke my hair as I rant myself to sleep, while the Wee Guy puts up with my grumpiness.

[side note: as each application vanishes into the void i'm getting closer to taking the work-from-home route, which in the long run would be much more sensible for the in and around bit of family life. so far, i've landed a sweet web content gig for a local website which gets me thinking out-and-about locally, and i'm thinking about exploiting my social media/digital skills for hire. wish me luck! i long for a water cooler and workmates, but maybe building it myself would work better]
ebb and flo by pomo mama design click to shop pomo mama design online!